Christmas story

story written by psychologist Maria Baumgarten

Photo source: http://www.ahchealthenews.com/2014/12/16/talking-to-your-child-about-santa-claus

Ever since I started to understand the world, I have heard of a white bearded, dressed in red old man from the North Pole who travels around the world on Christmas Eve and gives presents to make children happy. That's why he's called "Mos Craciun" or Santa Claus in English, Weihnachtsmann in German, Pere Noel in French, Papa Noel in Spanish and the list can be very long, but let's stay at Santa.

I really like to get presents from Santa and all year long I look forward to it, but I admit that I am often disappointed, because I always make something not agreed by an adult, then I hear the following: "If you are bad, Santa doesn't come to you this year ! "or" If you don't behave well, you will be the only child who will not get anything from Santa this year!". I heard these words said by George's mother, my friend from kindergarten and Alexandra's mother, my friend from the building and Vali's grandmother, my friend from our street and Gianina's father, my friend from the park; and from Ana's Grandma, the friend from the swimming club. Well, if my Christmas doesn't come to all my friends because they were "bad", I have concluded that I will not be the only child without a gift, which means that my parents may have exaggerated my behavior. The problem was that, at the same time, I was still thinking that it might be true, because adults never lie! I was very confused, but let's move on. The stress with "You don't get anything from Santa if you aren't good!", unfortunately appers again right after Santa has left and keeps going the whole year. For better understandnig, on 24th December, evening, Santa comes, then on 25th December, I am already being threatened by an adult with the following phrase: "You started doing bad things, you will see that next year Santa will not come for you, so be good!", or even worse: "At night he will come and take back your gift, if you do not behave, because Santa is still around!".

Okay, so I had to worry about the gifts I had just received this year, that I could not enjoy anymore, because I was scared that the old man would come to get it back from me. And also to worry for the gifts of next year. The situation had become very frustrating.

I realized that I had to do something about it, to somehow meet Santa and clarify which mistakes were accepted and which were not. For example, my mother made a mess in the house once and she still received a gift; Dad broke the car and he still received a gift; grandmother broke several plates and she still received a gift; Grandpa tore his pants and he still received a gift, and nobody threatened them that Santa is no longer coming. I really couldn't understand anymore. So I decided that only Santa can clarify it for me.

But how can I meet him, because I was told that no child has met him yet? Here it is !, I just remembered, at the mall in our city there is a spot where he gives gifts to children, so I could meet him there! If I could have a conversation in particular, he might clarify it for me. After I had this thought, I couldn't calm down until I found the time to propose to my mom to go to the mall together, because I wanted to meet Santa. My mom agreed, so the week before Christmas, along with my mother, I went to the mall. I was hoping to find him and yes, he was there. I stepped in the line and waited anxiously for my turn:

- Hello, Santa!

- Hi my dear, answers Santa. What's your name?

- Tom.

- Tell to Santa, how good have you behaved this year?

Right to the point, this is precisely why I came, to clarify the problem with "Have you behaved well?", so I told to Santa:

- You know, Santa, I didn't come here to receive a gift, I came because I want to talk. The gift that you can give me is to clarify something: what is the connection between the gift and how well I behaved? Can you do it?

Oh, Oh, Oh! Santa laughed and said:

- You came to the right place, yes, I think I can give you the answer. Let me give to these children a few more presents and then we can talk.

That's how it was, after Santa shared a few more gifts, he took a break and I could talk with him. Here is our talk:

- My dear Tom, the Christmas holiday is a celebration of goodwill, love, harmony and joy. I exist because you believe in me and because you wait for me every year. I am a symbol, a beautiful legend almost 200 years old, for the little ones and the big ones. I am the younger brother of Saint Nicholas, who is many years older than me. I exist because I bring joy to your souls on Christmas Eve, which is the moment of joy and goodwill, as I said. From my point of view, everyone is good and has a good soul, so I offer gifts to everyone, gifts that of course I do not take back. Your joy is also my joy. On Christmas Eve, the most beautiful gift I receive is the light in the eyes of children, when they see their gifts under the Christmas tree. As for the answer to the question "What does it mean to be good?", I can tell you the following: to be good, does not mean: never make mistakes, we all make mistakes, even I make sometime my wife angry (you know, I like to eat a lot of sweets and she is mad on me, for good reason). But the most important thing is to know how to ask for forgiveness and try to correct the mistake. Do you remember what your mother did after she made a big mess in your house?

- Yes, she cleaned the whole house.

- What did Grandma do when she broke the plates?

- She bought them back.

- And your Dad, when he broke the car?

- He repaired it.

- What did Grandpa do when he tore his pants?

- He sewed it himself, though he was not very good and my grandmother had to sew it again.

- Ho, Ho, Ho, I'm not too good at sewing either. And what did you do after you did not let your friend play with your toys?

- How do you know that, old man?

- Well, I know, I know. Didn't I tell you that I'm a legend?

- Yes.

- Well, in this legend, Santa knows everything, isnt't it?

- Yes, it is. Well, I did apologize to my friend and told him that we he can play with my toys and that I want us to remain friends.

- See? You fixed the mistake!

- Thank you Santa, I will not hold you any longer! Thank you for giving me a great gift. From now on, I will no longer be stressed whether I receive a gift or not, or that I am bad, or that I disappoint others, because I know that you, Santa, are not perfect either; neither mom, nor dad. And now I know that being good, it allows sometimes to make mistakes if you correct them.

The next night, I had the most conforting sleep, because I knew that I was a valuable person, even if sometimes I do make mistakes and I knew that Santa will not forget about me.